Who is in control of who?

Do you ever try so hard to be someone else just to ‘fit in’, to feel accepted and liked? So many people live their lives to please other people, doing what they ask, when they ask and being afraid to say ‘no’….. this really is a sad fact! Instead of trying to be what other people want you to be, you should just be the person you are, the person you want to be…. after all, the person that is in control of you is YOU!

Living a life to please others may help in certain situations, temporarily, but does it really make YOU happy? It also means you are not being yourself or being true to yourself. If the people in your life are genuine enough and care enough about you then they will be happy for you to just be you, accepting and liking you just the way you are.

The people who try to change you or want you to be a certain way are not really the people you should waste your time and energy on and constantly trying to please. We hear it so many times… life is short, life goes by so quickly, we only get one life etc… so with that in mind take a step back and think ‘Am I really happy?’ ‘Am I really being true to myself?’ ‘Am I being myself or am I acting a certain way just to please others?’

Well now is the time to change… start a new day with just being you! Don’t be afraid to say no to others, it doesnt mean you are being a bad person by saying no if you really don’t want to do something or go somewhere. A polite ‘no’ is all it takes. We often allow people to take advantage of our good nature because we dont like to say no but what we ARE doing when we constantly try to please others is not only going against our own desires but teaching others how they think we want to be treat. You see, if you are constantly pleasing other people they assume you will always say yes and will always turn to you, so occasions when you can’t be there or when you really don’t like the idea of doing something just politely say ‘unfortunately I cant’ or ‘sorry I really cant’…. once you have said it, it is done. You have a voice, you have a life – live it doing what YOU want and NOT what others want you to do. The occasional ‘no’ will help with your confidence and will also free time up for YOU to do what makes YOU happy!

Life goes by so quickly – the hours pass quickly, days, weeks, months and obviously the years. We are not promised the tomorrows but hope and pray we get them, and each day we are given we should be truly grateful for. Think of your life and the time you have like a sand timer. The sand is the top is your future but do you really know how much future (time) you have? The answer is no, no-one knows how much time we are given, so we should not focus or worry about that. The sand in the bottom is just like our past, that time has gone and we can never get that back, we can never make time up, it’s gone, so again we should not waste time and energy on the past and the time that is gone. The most important part is the part in the middle – the part where the sand is moving all of the time and very quickly when you take time to watch it. That is what we should focus on, the time that is now, the time that we have right now. If you live each moment and make the most and the best of each moment, seeing the positive in every moment you really WILL have a happier life. They say in life true success is finding total peace and happiness, happiness being the key! Of course there will be negative situations but in every negative situation there is always a positive one, something to learn from, it sometimes just takes a few moments to pause, take a step back, observe and notice the positive, it will be there!

So… this post is really all about you having control of your own life, control of your own time, control of your own thinking and the way you look at things. There is a quote ‘If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change’… and that is very true. Things can be seen very differently when you change your view of them and that can be in any situation.

So what can you control in your own life? Well you can change your thoughts, although this does take practice and being more aware of what you are thinking at that time. You can change how you speak and how you treat other people, even down to kind thoughts and trying not to judge someone for whatever reason. You can control your own feelings and the decisions you make. When you take a step back and think about how much control you have over your own life, you will also be amazed as to how much you allow others to control you and your life.

What you can’t control is other peoples’ emotions and feelings, you can’t control their thoughts or decisions and you can’t control how other people behave… so look at what you CAN control of in your own life, take control and start living YOUR life the way YOU want it! You will be glad you did!

Time…. time is always moving… live in the now and also remember to give yourself time to do what makes you happy!